The idea for this article struck me as I sat in my car after dropping off a carpool of girls to practice last week. I was scheduled to drive the carpool both ways and it made sense to stay at the fields for practice as the fields were 30 minutes from my house.

Listed below are the benefits shared by experts over time as to why this benefits your child, the risks involved and what you can do to demonstrate support:

BENEFITS FOR THE CHILD

• Increased Independence and Responsibility:

  Children learn to be self-sufficient, trust others, and manage tasks on their own without constant parental oversight. 

  
  

  Internalized Motivation:

  When parents step back, children are more likely to develop their own commitment to the activity and the team, rather than performing for parental approval. 

• Improved Confidence and Emotional Regulation:

  Giving children space to learn and succeed or fail on their own helps build confidence and better emotional regulation skills. 

• Flexibility and Adaptability:

  Children learn to adjust to different people and situations, understanding that there are various ways to approach tasks and activities. 

• RISK OF EXCESSIVE PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT

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• Undermining Development:

  Too much parental instruction or correction during training can hinder behavioral development and executive functions, such as delayed gratification. 

• Creating Pressure:

  Children may feel that their parents' happiness depends on their performance, leading to excessive pressure and potentially causing burnout or loss of interest. 

• Reduced Self-Ownership:

  Overly involved parents can inadvertently take ownership away from their children's learning process, demotivating them and making them less likely to take personal responsibility. 

• Over-Sensitivity and Anxiety:

  Constantly monitoring and sheltering a child during their developmental years can lead to oversensitivity and increased anxiety when they face challenges alone. 

  
  

  Compromising / undermining the bond that can be built between coach and child. 

  This bond has been proven to be important in addressing problems that children face as they mature in such areas as diet, bullying, abuse and other mental health issues that the child may be reluctant to discuss with a parent

  
  

What to Do Instead

• Encourage Internal Commitment:

  Support your child's commitment to their team or activity as a personal decision, not something influenced by your involvement. 

• Provide a Support System:

  Maintain open communication and be a source of encouragement and support, but allow the child to handle the training process and its challenges. 

• Focus on Autonomy-Supportive Involvement:

  If you are involved, ensure it is supportive of your child's autonomy, fostering a positive and engaging learning environment. 

We hope sharing this information provides some measure of clarity as to the position we take.